If you are ever lucky enough to visit New York City, there is one place you have to visit which will stay with you for the rest of your life. This place is the 9/11 Memorial Museum. The experience I had inside the museum will stay with me till the end...
When the devastating events of 9/11 occurred i was a mere seven years old, therefore I wasn't aware of it. However, as I've grown the story of the events of that day has found a place inside my heart! The sheer volume of tragedy that occurred that day is still hard to fathom, I still can't believe it!
Now I knew this visit was going to be an emotional one, but i wasn't quite prepared for just how hard it would hit me...
The Museum it's self is made up of a few different sections, all of which display a stunning tribute to all those who lost their lives. When you first enter there is a brief overview of what happened that day all those years ago, before the experience truly begins and it hits you deeply.
The memorial is one of those places where you distance yourself from everyone around you and take everything in on your own, you will want to fully immerse yourself into everything that surrounds you. It's a place where emotions will over take you quickly and unexpectedly, but there is no need to be scared to show that you feel. The emotions i felt that day were the strongest I've felt all my life...
Inside displayed around you are pieces of the twin towers' structure, to physically see these ruins with your own eyes brings to life the reality of what happened that day. It leaves you with a sickening and heavy feeling in the pit of your stomach. Seeing the thick metal beams which once supported the tower bent in half right in front of you, empthasises just how powerful the impact truly was and the destruction it caused. It was haunting to see pieces of the original buildings where people lost their lives stood right in front of me.
The memorial also housed part of the original staircase from one of the towers, this structure is what kick started my entire experience and i truly began to feel the powerful emotions connected with the memorial. Seeing the staircase made me think of how many people would have been frantically running down those steps terrified for their lives, I couldn't take in that it was right in front of me.
The next section of the memorial was a room dedicated to every single person who lost their life that day, plane passengers, tower workers, firefighters and everyone else involved. A photograph of each person hung on the walls of that room, to see their faces really hit home as none of them should have suffered! Inside the room were a few screens with the faces of each person on and a set of accompanying headphones, when a person was selected stories were told about them by their loved ones.
I chose to listen to messages about a four year old girl which were given by her grandma, what I heard was truly devastating. The poor little girl was travelling to Disney Land with her family and was so excited, but she never made it. You would risk your life and do absolutely anything to protect your children, I can't even begin to imagine how her parents felt on that flight being so helpless and unable to save her. My heart goes out to the entire family and especially to the grandma who lost her entire world which is truly devastating.
The final part of the memorial was the main exhibition and took about an hour or so to walk around. It housed everything from actual ambulances from the scene, parts of police cars, helmets and uniforms from the emergency services, belongings of the victims, messages, phone calls and so much more. The silence inside was deafening, not one person spoke the entire time and instead were just taking in everything around them.
Inside I watched a clip of a business woman jumping from one of the towers and holding down her skirt as she did so, which brought tears to my eyes. The sheer fact that she had to physically make the decision between burning and jumping is an unbearable choice that no one should ever have to make! Watching her hold her skirt down keeping her dignity till the very last second... I couldn't bare it!
Around the memorial there were phones which you could pick up and listen to messages, the one I listened to will stay with me for the rest of my life!
The message I listened to was left on a woman's answering machine by her Husband who was on the plane that hit the towers. He proceeded to confess his love for his wife and then begin saying his goodbyes telling her he wasn't going to make it, i couldn't bare it and broke down crying. That must have been the hardest phone call he has ever made and I can't begin to imagine how she felt when she got the message!
At the time I was listening to it I had my boyfriend stood next to me and I instantly felt myself in that mans shoes. I couldn't even begin to imagine the pain of having to leave J a message like that knowing I was never going to see him again, the emotions just thinking about it were so painful! The fact that that man had to do that physically broke my heart and it will stay with me for the rest of my life! My heart goes out to his family and especially his wife, I'm so sorry this cruel world parted you both, that should never have happened.
The final message I listened to was the answering machine of a fire fighter working on the scene. The messages I heard were left by his family and friends who knew he would be working on the scene, telling him how brave he was and how they couldn't wait to see him that night. However, sadly he never made it. No one should go out to work and never make it home! This brave man sacrificed his life to help save others which is the greatest sacrifice anyone can make, you are truly a hero and will never be forgotten!
Whilst in New York I met an officer who was called to the scene of 9/11 to try and save lives, however when the first tower fell he was injured. Although he was hurt and had just witnessed the death of his friends he got back up and wanted to help others. Although the NYPD forced him to get onto a boat to receive treatment, from which he watched as the second tower fell and realized they saved his life. He continued to work with the friends and family of the victims and provide support for them. I can't even imagine the thoughts and emotions going through his mind that day, to hear his story was so surreal!
The whole 9/11 experience was the most emotional and amazing experience of my entire life! To have witnessed the beautiful tribute to all of the victims tragically lost that day will stay with me forever. No one should have been killed that day, each one holds a special place in my heart!
I wish to leave you with one message...
Life is one of the most unpredictable journeys we will all embark on, but we do often take it for granted. However, it can be taken from us so suddenly which is devastating! Please remember to always take the time to be thankful for every single day, always remember to tell your loved ones how much they mean to you. I could never imagine having to say goodbye to them and don't ever want to! Don't count your days, make them count!
Life is a blessing and so delicate, we are truly so lucky to have it!
Okay so I'm well aware that it's like February already and that this post is wayyyyy over due, also that I've vanished off the face of the earth for a long time now!! But there's no time like the present I guess right? ... seen as it's 2018 I decided to sit down and think of 18 things I'm either doing, want to do or will continue to do in 2018, so without further a do here they are!!
New York
I still can't believe this is happening ... but I've been lucky enough to be accepted onto a University Trip of a life time, to New Haven's Henry Lee Institute!! June is going to be an absolute blast gaining ballistics experience and exploring one of the busiest cities in the world! Passport at the ready, visa bought, travel pass waiting for me and shopping in progress ... excited isn't the word!! New York City with my best friend on one arm and my boyfriend on the other ... I can't wait!!
Keep Being Me
Overtime there will be so many people you meet who shape you and make you who you are, however there are individuals who can negatively change you! Only I know who I truly am and who I truly want to be, I plan to keep being true to myself and not change to suit anyone's requirements! The right people will love me for who I am ... and those are the people who truly count!
Save 50p and £5 notes ...
Let's face it It's England rainy days happen a lot!! There's nothing worse than sitting at home when the rain is pattering on the glass, you're in the mood for a Domino's, Netflix, Ice Cream and PJ's in bed kinda day but you ain't got no dollar!! That's why this year i'm planning to feed my little piggy bank with all my shiny 50p's and £5 notes, It's exciting not knowing what the total will be at the end of the year, here's to all the rainy days yet to come!
Live In The Now
I am 100% one of those people who spends the majority of their time worrying about what could happen in the future, and all of the mistakes I've made in the past! Trust me it's not a good way to live and it can actually break a person, it does on a daily basis! I want to try to work on living in the present and not waste time dwelling over things I can't control, fingers crossed this will work out!
Graduation
Three years at University has truly flown by and is very nearly over, graduation is just around the corner and nothing has scared me more! All the hard work leads up to this point, i'm hoping I can pass this degree and say I've done it! I want to make myself and my family proud ... I got this!
Plan For The Future
Life after University genuinely terrifies me and does keep me awake at night, everything I've known for three years is going to change and I'm not sure if i'm ready for that! One step in the right direction is my Masters course, hopefully I will finally get on the path I've always desired and become the writer I know I can be! Not having my friends beds to climb into when I'm feeling low or make me laugh when it's been a long day is gonna be so hard to adjust to and a lot of tears will be shed! But visiting them as they get on with their lives will always be a pleasure! The hardest sacrifice will be not seeing my boyfriend as often, It's gonna be heart breaking but shaping ourselves to fit the adult world is something we have to do! The possibility of him having to move far away from me in search of work while I finish my Masters is pretty much inevitable, but I will be so proud of him for it!! CSI isn't an easy work to find and you have to go where the job is, but joining him after my masters keeps me smiling! Skype, Phone calls, Texts, visits, long distance can and will work ... we will make it work and I'll be there for him every step of the way! He is the best CSI i know, and any force will be so lucky to have him!
Be Strong
I am by far one of the most emotional humans you will ever meet, the slightest little thing upsets me it's legit crazy! But I now have the right tools and strategies to give myself some tough loving and develop a stronger side, it ain't gonna be easy but hopefully I will reach my goal!
Work On YouTube
Youuuuuuuuuuutube!! Man i love my channel and I miss it so so much! my course at the moment is in it's final stages and is to full on to be able to film right now, I will forever be Life Through A Lens and trust me I will be back at it as soon as all of this is over! Summer will be my come back and I can't wait!! Stay tuned guys ... thank you for being so patient!
The Vamps Tour
Yaaaaaaassss!! so it's nearly that time of year again ... VAMPS TOUR! I can't wait to eat insane amounts of junk food, share beds way to small, eat domino's at 1am, dance with my friends and make more amazing memories! Tour is one of the happiest times of year for me, I love every single second and I can't thank The Vamps enough for the life they have shaped for me just by touring, I miss all my friends so so much! ... I can't wait!!
Publishing Masters
This one is something I never thought I'd have the guts to pursue!! Since I was young I've had a passion for writing I've just always had to put it on the back burner which isn't fair nor right, I'm planning to change that! Finally I will get the chance to be the writer I've always wanted to be, it's hella scary because it's all so new, but it's the one thing I can see myself doing for the rest of my life and being happy doing! Here's hoping I can make it ...
My Relationship
This may sound cringe or cliche but honestly I never thought I'd ever find someone I'd care about this much ever! I truly love this boy like I've never loved anyone before, that's so scary but also so amazing! He's the one person who makes me truly happy and makes me feel safe, I never want to lose him and want to be by his side no matter where his job takes him! Life after Uni is gonna be hella hard but fate will make everything fall into place! I'm not one that likes to plan the future as I truly believe in spontaneity, there's so much we both plan to do especially travel! As long as were by each others sides that's all I wish for ... the rest will fit into place all on it's own, fate has a beautiful way of making that happen!
Put Myself Out Of My Comfort Zone
I have this underlying rule that life was given to us to use to the full, not to sit on a couch where it's comfortable 24/7 and never feel your heart race! I've done so many things I never in a million years imagined me doing and I plan to continue that, there is no better feeling than achieving something you didn't think you could do! I want to continue to push myself to see exactly what I can overcome and surprise myself with things I love to do but just didn't know! There's so much out there to see and do ... I wanna give it my best shot!!
Live Life The Way I Want To
There is nothing worse than being told what you can and can't do, just because something is the easy route doesn't mean it's the one you HAVE to take!! If you want something enough go out and get it! I have my aspirations and I plan to go after them, my Masters is the first step in that direction! ... It's quite exciting shaping my own little life!
Stick To A Skincare Routine
Okay so this one is a bit of a weird one ... but I have this bad habit of getting into a skincare routine that seems to work but then become to lazy to copy it every day! For Christmas my boyfriend's parents were kind enough to give me some of the Liz Earle skin care products, and honestly i was blown away! They are the best things I have ever used on my skin and work like a charm, my skin isn't great and has better days than others but I want to work on that! It's time to look after my skin and hopefully fix it! P.S i highly recommend the Liz Earle range!!
Continue To Support The Vamps
The Vamps ... If you know me then you know we come together like peanut butter and jelly! Supporting them is something I love to do, I've grown up as they have and they've become a part of me! They've helped me and done so much for me, so much that Thank You isn't even enough! Even as I grow up I will continue to support them and that will never change, It's who I am and the people I love still love me despite that, in fact they love them to!
Accept Criticism
No one likes criticism whether it's constructive or not, It's easy to feel like people are out to get you even when they are simply just there to help you! I will hold my hands up and say I don't take criticism to well, I am aware of that! I want to learn to be more open to what others have to say and see if it has any weight to it before jumping to conclusions, sure sometimes people are just causing shit but other times they are being genuine! I plan to listen to people more to distinguish between the two and to help myself develop into a better person!
Travel!!
There is so much out there to see and explore and so many things to try, i believe life isn't meant to be lived in one place! I have a long list of places I want to visit, they are all so beautiful, I want to write about each and every one and vlog them! The experiences will be life changing and so perfect ... hopefully one day I can do it all!
Make Memories
Finally, I just want to make memories! they are the things that will live on for years to come and make you smile every time you think of them, good memories cannot be tainted! That is what life is about having fun and making memories that will stick with you forever!
